A Basic Need

Yesterday I wavered back and forth for hours trying to decide whether or not to run.  Note to self - this is never a good sign that the run is going to go well.  I was tired and unmotivated, but often when I feel this way I try to go anyway as it tends to snap me out of a funk.  Stupidly, I waited until 4:00pm to head out.  I figured I would just get in a quick three miler and call it a day.  How hard could it be?  Well...very hard, actually.  As I set off, I successfully drowned out my thoughts, including, but not limited to, my desire to walk, as well as my heavy breathing, with music.  After about 3/4 of a mile my Nano failed me and it started to re-play the first of the three Arcade Fire songs from my playlist.  I love this band, but I can't listen to them over and over again for 25 minutes.  So, I stopped and tried to fiddle with my settings to get back to the main playlist.  No dice.  After repeatedly swearing at the Nano and seriously considering just walking back home, I eventually rolled up the headphones and continued on without music.  Typically, my main reason for listening to music when I run is because it gets me fired up and motivates me to push harder.  Yesterday, however, I needed it for so many other reasons.  As I shuffled along I felt slow.  Listening to my steps made me feel slower.  On top of that, it was quite painful to have to listen to my very labored breathing.  And I hate to say it, but I didn't want to wave to other runners and walkers and be friendly.  Yes, I understand that once in a while it's good to take in all the scenery, cruise along and not worry about how it's going, but I couldn't even do that.  I simply wanted to zone out and get home.  And, bottom line, I needed music.  Am I too dependent?  Probably.  But it is what it is.  I say enjoy it if you have it, want it, need it...whatever.  Rock on.

Listen to this:
Get Gone - White Arrows