Tuesday, December 29, 2020

2020 YEAR IN REVIEW


Dear RWM Readers,
As I went through and rounded up some of my more memorable moments from 2020, I couldn't help but appreciate the fact that some great stuff happened despite the overall shittiness of the year.  And then of course, there was all of the new music that came out.  Which, to our good fortune, is pretty much always a sure thing.  At the start of the year, I got to watch my daughter compete with her high school gymnastics team for the first time.  This was a totally new experience for her and I loved watching her grow as an athlete as she tackled some new challenges in the sport.  In February, I was lucky enough to get down to Atlanta to watch the Olympic marathon trials and hang with my Oiselle teammates before the world shut down due to Covid.  That was pretty amazing.  Then?  Well, school went remote for my girls, LHS spring track was canceled and I, if I'm being honest, I didn't have a hell of a lot else going on.  So, I started running.  Or, I should say, running more.  Like, a lot more.  First, I decided to try a 50K.  For fun.  And when that went well I figured I might as well go ahead with a 50 miler.  I did this one to raise funds for Team With a Vision, an organization that does so much to support those who are visually impaired; a group of individuals who's lives have become significantly more challenging due to the virus and all of the associated restrictions.  After that, my girls and I coasted through the summer, Rosie working and doing gymnastics and Grace, much to her dismay, not really doing much of anything.  I think her exact words at the end of the summer were, "Mom, if you ask me to go on another freaking hike with you I will literally lose my mind."  LOTS of mom and Grace time.  Clearly.  Once September rolled around the girls got back into a rhythm with school and sports and while everything was different they embraced whatever was offered to them as a welcome change from the summer doldrums.  Thankfully, I got to coach the Lex girls for a modified fall XC season and even though it was incredibly challenging and less than ideal from a logistics standpoint, we made it work and it was one hundred percent worth it.  In November, we enjoyed a quiet Thanksgiving with just the four of us for the first time in years and then Rosie turned 16, got her learner's permit and started driving.  So many emotions there.  Finally, I closed out the year with a crazy eight hour run challenge in some really tough weather; perhaps one of my most difficult races to date.  As far as next year goes?  Your guess is as good as mine.  I gotta believe there is a light at the end of this very long and dark tunnel for all of us.  For now, all I can do is hug my kids, send virtual love to the rest of my family and friends and hope for the best.  If you can believe it (I can't), this RWM blog has been going steady for ten years now.  I have found that sharing these stories, both my own and those of others, keeps me sane and somewhat grounded.  This year, especially.  So, I can't thank you enough for following along in whatever way that you do.  Here's to new beginnings and brighter days in 2021.  Happy New Year to all of you!

Rock on, 


RUNNING WITH MUSIC 2020

Watched Rosie compete for her high school gymnastics team
JANUARY ALBUM:ELBOW-GIANTS OF ALL SIZES
JANUARY SONG:HIGH - FITNESS

Went to the 2020 Olympic Marathon trials in Atlanta
FEBRUARY SONG:GREY - TWO FEET
FEBRUARY ALBUM:THIN MIND - WOLF PARADE

Started quarantine & Rosie started running w/ me for the first time ever
MARCH SONG:RUN - EMIKA
MARCH ALBUM:NO ONE ELSE CAN WEAR YOUR CROWN - OH WONDER

APRIL SONG:THE END - MISTERWIVES
ALBUM:HEALER - GROUPLOVE

Ran the Sugar Badger Virtual 50 Miler (for TeamWithAVision)
MAY SONG:NOW I'M IN IT - HAIM
MAY ALBUM:ANGEL MINERS & THE LIGHTENING RAIDERS - AWOLNATION

Got the hell out of Dodge with my girls (to the in-laws)
JUNE SONG:OKAY? - THE ROYAL FOUNDRY
JUNE ALBUM:WARNINGS - I BREAK HORSES

Ran many miles for the #RunWithRivs campaign
JULY SONG:BIG LOVE - LOUIS THE CHILD
JULY ALBUM:WOMEN IN MUSIC PTIII - HAIM

Spent some (more) quality time w/ the family up on the North Shore
AUGUST SONG:BEG - JIM OUMA
AUGUST ALBUM: RECOVER - THE NAKED & FAMOUS

Began our modified & very bizarre fall XC season at LHS
SEPTEMBER SONG:MY POWER - CHIKA
SEPTEMBER ALBUM:IMPLODING THE MIRAGE

Raced the Mine Falls 50K in NH
OCTOBER SONG:NOTE TO SELF - JIM-E STACK
OCTOBER ALBUM:FREE LOVE - SYLVAN ESSO

Rosie turned 16 and got her learner's permit. What??
NOVEMBER SONG:AIR I BREATH - SOPHIE BLAIR
NOVEMBER ALBUM:DREAMLAND - GLASS ANIMALS

'Raced' the Virtual Frosty Looper 8 Hour Challenge (48.75 miles)
DECEMBER SONG:SOLID GOLD - SHEPPARD
DECEMBER ALBUM:HARK! - ANDREW BIRD


2020 DAILY SONGS

Monday, December 21, 2020

RACE REVIEW:VIRTUAL FROSTY LOOPER

"Road shimmer
Wiggling the vision
Heat heat waves
I'm swimming in a mirror"
~ 'Heatwave', Glass Animals


On Saturday I took on the Frosty Looper - 8 Hour Challenge. This was the first time I've tackled an event of this kind and despite the fact that I trained for it by running a shit ton of miles, I really didn't know what to expect.  In a nutshell, I would be completing as many 3.75 mile laps as I could in an eight hour window.  Originally, the race was supposed to take place in New Jersey and when I signed up I thought, or more accurately, hoped that I'd be doing it in person.  As the race got closer and things were actually getting worse, as far as Covid goes, I realized that driving to NJ and staying in a hotel for a race would not work if I was going to see my family for the holidays.  I reached out to the race director and told him that I was sad to miss it but that it was no longer in the cards for me.  He let me know he understood and told me that I could still run it virtually and submit my results but that I would not be eligible for awards.  A bummer but totally fair.  Not that I was assuming I'd place, but it's always fun to have something to shoot for when you decide to take these things on.  Since I'd been training for this for months there was no question for me as to whether or not I'd be doing it, even if I had to do it on my own.  If anything, it was a test of my fitness and mental fortitude and I was "excited" to see what I could do.  Unfortunately, after Thanksgiving the Covid situation continued to get worse and just a few days before the event was set to take place, the state of NJ told the race director that he could not hold the race in person.  I'm guessing that he knew it was bound to get called, but it was still a blow after all the work his team had done to make this thing happen safely.  Thus, the 2020 Looper was officially postponed to 2021 and the 2020 race was now virtual, if you so desired.  The upside here being that I was now back in as an official entrant since all of us were doing it as a solo effort.  So, with just a few days to go until race day, I tried to get my head back in the game and to get myself fired up for this ridiculous virtual adventure.  And then, the Thursday before race day, we had a full blown blizzard here in the Boston area.  We got over a foot of snow and the temps dropped below freezing where they were predicted to stay for the foreseeable future.  Classic Murphy's law.  Sure, Rebecca, you can do a virtual race but we gotta make it legit by throwing you the worst possible weather and road conditions in the books.  Now, you can go for it!  Oh, and have fun out there!


As always, I laid out all my gear the night before the race.  My coach and I talked about throwing in things like extra shoes and socks since there would be snow on the ground and my feet would likely get wet.  I also threw in an entire change of clothes as it was going to be 10º at 7:30am when were allowed to start and closer to 30º at 3:30 when we were required to call it.  Basically, if I thought I might need it, I threw it in the pile.  I had driven a bunch of routes earlier in the day and picked the best possible option given the conditions.  There would be no sidewalks but one of the roads had a pretty solid lip that I could stay in for the way out and then on the way back I'd be on a quieter road and just hope that drivers would give me space.  The whole thing was now a bit daunting in a way I wasn't really prepared for, but I guess that's always bound to happen so I just tried to take it in stride while also laughing a bit about the craziness of it all.  


I continued laughing the next morning as I got up and checked the weather.  Note the "feels like" temp.  That's right.  2º.  Even my dogs didn't want to go outside.  And I didn't blame them.  Okay, so I had a brief moment with myself at this point when I questioned whether this was a bad idea.  Which it decidedly was.  But I was doing it anyway.  Obvs.


Clover didn't really understand what was going on and began nudging me as she thought I was dressed to take her out.  No buddy, I explained, it's not going to be me this morning.  I gotta go do a thing.  To which she responded with more nudging and some whining.  She's good at what she does.  I won't lie and tell you I didn't want to just grab a second cup and cuddle up with her in my bed.  I wanted that real bad.  I had to get out of the house pronto or I wouldn't be going.  


I grabbed my bin of crap and made my way out to my car.  We live on a significant hill and I was not willing to go up this beast every lap.  Thus, I would be parking down at the train station and running my loop from there, using the parking lot as my pit, if you will, for breaks and to grab fuel and whatever else I might need.  I turned the music up loud in an attempt to distract myself from how cold I was and to drown out my thoughts in general.  The song that came on for my three minute drive down to the station was "Heatwave" by Glass Animals.  Ironic, no?  But also a great cut.  I turned it up louder.  This shit was happening.  Ready or not.

THE RACE
Laps 1-3
I wish I had a photo of the start for you.  Despite the cold, it was a beautiful morning and as I got into my first lap and the sun began to come up I couldn't help but be grateful to be outside doing what I love.  There was definitely some photogenic moments during those first three laps, which totally flew by, with the sun shining through the trees and on the snow.  But, my hands were too damn cold to deal with my phone.  I had worn a scarf down to the station and ended up doing the first 15 miles in it.  I've never run in a scarf.  It was that cold.  The photo above was taken a little before 2:00pm by my daughter.  Not quite the same as first light but you get the idea.


LAPS 3-6
When I rolled in from my third lap my buddy and run wingman, Steve McK, was bundled up and waiting to do the fourth lap with me.  He's a really good friend.  I grabbed some fluids before we started and then we were off.  He was fresh out of the car and ready to rock so my pace picked up a bit to match his.  He was also very chatty which was a great distraction so I just went into cruise control next to him or behind him if the street was narrow.  He threw out a gem of a "would you rather".  It was would you rather have no cell phone ever available to you again or no condiments for your food.  It was an easy answer for me as I'm not a big condiments person but it was a tough one for him as he truly can't imagine life without them.  We had a nice lengthy debate about and before we knew it we were back to the start.  He bade me goodbye and passed the wingman baton off to my friend, Anoush, who was ready to run the next three laps with me.  She, too, is a really good friend.  Once again, we set off and went right into story telling mode, something she is exceptionally good at.  We talked all things dating, roommates, family and more.  She's significantly younger than me and her life is substantially more interesting at the moment so I was happy to listen and provide comments and feedback when needed.  After our second lap she noted that she was starting to feel our run in her legs to which I responded "Me, too.  Shhhhh."  And then we kept going.  


Laps 7-10
I dropped Anoush off after lap 6 and she told me she'd come back to check on me and run a bit more in a couple hours.  This is about when it set in that I was wicked tired and not even close to being done.  I mean, I'd run 22.5 miles at this point.  So, it made sense that I was feeling it.  But it was only 11:30am so my 3:30 finish time seemed ridiculously far away.  I was a little concerned.  And yet, there was no turning back so I just put my Jaybirds in, turned up the music and took off for lap 7.  As I was finishing this lap I noticed a person in the parking lot waving next to their car.  As I got closer I realized it was one of my former LHS runners, Maya B-T, who had noticed I was doing laps on Strava and kindly tracked me down to see how it was going and join me for a round.  It was such an unexpected and nice surprise.  I'm sure she could tell how I was feeling and she just jumped right into easy conversation, doing most of the talking as I listened and plodded along with her.  We caught up on all things college, lacrosse, running and family and before I knew it we were rolling into the pit.  I said goodbye, put my music back on and tried to get going quickly so I didn't think about how tired I was.  Now I was on autopilot; one foot in front of the other.  No idea what time it was.  No idea how many miles I'd done.  By the time I finished my 10th lap the insides of my shoulders were hurting which I knew was due to dehydration.  I had taken fluids at each stop I'd made but clearly not enough.  I now realized that the 3.75 gap between each stop was just too long of a spread to go without drinking.  I hadn't carried my bottles because I didn't think I'd need them.  This was a big mistake.  And I would pay for it on the back side.  


Laps 11-13
Things were touch and go now.  I didn't really know what to do other than just f***ing run.  My stomach was a mess, likely because of how dehydrated I was.  Or, maybe just because I'd done 30 something miles at a decent clip and it was straight up angry.  Probably both.  I texted Anoush and let her know that I needed to finish by myself.  I just didn't have the mental energy to be with someone as I ran and I really needed my music to distract me from how exhausted I was.  After the 11th lap I decided to change my shoes.  My feet had been hurting and I thought maybe some extra cushion would provide some relief.  This was also a big mistake.  After about a half of a mile in them they felt stupidly heavy and I felt like I was having to work harder in them which is really not what I'd wanted from the change up.  All I could think about for those 3.75 miles was how badly I wanted those shoes off my feet.  That might of been my worst lap.  When I rolled in after the 12th lap my husband was there with my girls.  Oh my, how I was hurting.  It was so nice to see them if only for the moral support.  But I was really struggling.  My goal had been to run at least 50 miles and in order to do this I needed to get through lap 14.  The rules stated that we were required to finish with a full lap so if I got to 3:00pm and couldn't get my last one done in 30 minutes I wouldn't be able to count it.  At this point, I probably could have gotten two more laps in before 3:30pm if I hustled.  Ha.  There would be no hustle.  I knew I would not be able to get it done in the shoes I'd changed into and so I decided to take the time to switch them back and to stop and drink more which wasted a lot of time because, as I said, no hustle.  And by the time I took off for lap 13 I knew it would be all I could do in our allotted time.  I was definitely bummed.  But I was also so ready to be done.  In the end I ran 13 laps, which was 48.75 miles with a total run time of 7:06:10 (average pace 8:45).  It ties the 2018 Boston marathon for the happiest I've ever been to be done with a race.  I sat down in my car.  And I couldn't move.  Like, literally.  I just had to sit there and do nothing for quite some time before I could motivate to drive back up to my house which felt a million miles away.  When I turned the car on, I kid you not, 'Heatwave' by Glass Animals was playing.  Now that is a coincidence.


Later in the day my coach checked in to let me know I'd taken the win for women and see how I was feeling.  I told him that I was pretty happy, especially since I hadn't known the results up until then, but that I also thought I'd have been able to do more given my training.  Why, I asked, was this so much harder than the last time I ran 50 miles, which was this past May.  Well, for one, it was cold.  Stupid cold.  He explained that the body likely burns significantly more calories when it's out in this weather.  Which leads me to believe that I probably didn't eat enough calories to make up for this difference.  And then the lack of fluids was my other problem.  I needed to be drinking from the get go and way more often than every 3.75 miles.  That really hurt me for those final laps.  My energy was just totally zapped and no matter how much I drank in the second half of the day, it didn't matter.  It was just too late to make up for it by then.  Two valuable lessons learned there.  All that said, my wheels didn't completely fall off and I ran right up to the end rather than calling it early which I so easily could have.  I definitely took longer breaks in between sets in the second half.  And I probably wasted more time than I should have but I'll chalk it off to rookie status and remember to keep things moving for the next time when I also will eat more and carry water.  If there is a next time.  If you'd asked me yesterday, I would have given you a hard NO.  Today?  I don't know.  Tomorrow?  Still not sure.  I might need a little more time to think on this one.  Or maybe a lot.

Heatwave by Glass Animals

Friday, December 4, 2020

2020 GIFT GUIDE & WINTER GIVEAWAY

"When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed."
~ Maya Angelou


Well folks, we have finally made it to December. Praise be. I think I can safely speak for many when I say this has been one of the most challenging and chaotic years I've ever waded through and I am more than ready to put it behind me. Not that 2021 will be a guaranteed walk in the park, but I have to believe that it can only get better. I will say that I have never been more eager to move into holiday mode if only just lighten up my spirits a bit as we come into the home stretch of 2020. I started writing this over Thanksgiving when I was supposed to be down in Georgia visiting my sister and her family along with my parents. Obviously that didn't happen. It has been a really long time since I've seen them and while I know it was the right call it did break my heart a little that we couldn't all be together. The way I see it, or that I'm trying to see it, is that it will just be that much more amazing when we can all meet up again. I'm giddy just thinking about it. Until then, though, I'll be hunkering down with my husband and the girls and enjoying even more quality time with them over these next few weeks. Seriously, though, with all this extra time I've been on the hunt for some fun gift ideas for runners, music lovers and really, for anyone who likes cool things. Which is probably most people. I did my best to cast a wide net and I think I've ended up with a pretty fun and unique group of ideas that you can tap into as you think about what you'd like to treat your loved ones with or, better yet, yourself to during this giving season. You'll notice there are items from some of my favorite companies, like Oiselle and Jaybird. These guys are tried and true and products from their company will likely always be on my list as they have never let me down as far as gifting goes. And then you'll see that I have a few new ones on here and these I am really excited about as I know they will be well received if only because of how different they are. So here it is, my 8th annual holiday gift guide along with a killer giveaway with some of my favorite products. Check the list. Check it twice. Then enter the giveaway for you and friend. Because I'm sure you've both been nice. Sorry, I had to. Cheers, everyone! And Merry everything.

2020 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE



OISELLE FLIPSIDE PUFFY SKIRT - Oiselle calls it a "wearable blanket". I call it a socially acceptable sleeping bag. You can call it whatever you want. But the bottom line is this - it's warm, it's chic and it can be thrown over tights after a run or for a day of coaching outside in the colder temps without having to be awkwardly pulled over the sneakers which never really works out in the end. Genius.  
Price:$118


LANDGROVE COFFEE DOUBLE SHOT PRESS - If you love coffee, then perhaps you also appreciate a fresh cup of joe made with a French Press. This little gizmo enables you to both make it and take it. It has a spill-proof press/drink lid, it's incredibly durable and it has been newly designed with their Brü-Stop press technology for a perfectly smooth brew, anytime, anywhere. Added bonus...the lid can be attached for left or right-handed drinkers. Plus, the base doubles as a container in case you want and/or need a second brew on the go. Given.
Price:$41


LIKE THE WIND MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION - I've been getting Like the Wind for several years now. It's a beautiful quarterly magazine created "for runners, by runners". Really, it's more like a book of short stories, each one paired with it's own unique illustration, the whole thing printed on matte paper. Personally, I like to take my time with it, to stretch it out over a few weeks as I go through it and then, because each issue is full of so many morsels of wisdom, I add it to my book shelf for a future reference. The stories are relatable to anyone so you don't have to be a runner to enjoy this publication. They offer multiple payment methods or you can buy specific issues if one happens to catch your eye. I can honestly say that I have loved every one so far. Click on this link to receive £5 off your order.
Price:Approx $38


WYETH DESIGN EARRINGS - I am really excited about these gorgeous, hand crafted earrings designed by my dear friend, Jason Koob, creator and owner of Wyeth Designs. Jay is a doctor by day but woodworking is another one of his passions and he uses much of his free time to build both furniture and earrings like the ones you see above. In his own words, "My pieces display clean, minimalist lines reflecting my love of Japanese architecture and Scandinavian furniture design. I also try to incorporate natural elements such as stones, grass, and water into my pieces whenever possible." I have three pairs of my own and plan to give both the Strong and Brave sets (designed by his daughter!) to my teammates this season.
Price:Ranges from $12-$42


ATHLETIC BREWING CO. - I love a good beer. But I'm not a big fan of how alcohol impacts my sleep or, for that matter, my performance when I'm training. Last year I was on a quest to find a high quality Non Alcoholic beer and after several fails, which I won't mention here, I finally discovered Athletic Brewing Co. They make a great tasting N/A Craft Beer with high-quality, all-natural ingredients. It's ideal for those with an active lifestyle or anyone who just really enjoys beer but doesn't want to sacrifice taste. Plus, have a few as there is no risk for a hangover. Seriously, if you want to switch things up you will not be disappointed with ABC. My local liquor store sells it but you can also buy it and get it shipped straight from their site. Note: Use code RTRACHSEL20 to save 20% on your first order.
Price:$12.99 per six pack


JAYBIRD VISTA - These were on my list last year. And, well, they just have to be again. Because, in my humble opinion, they are the best accessory since sliced bread. Wireless. Waterproof. Sweatproof. Shockproof. Dust proof. Isn't that enough proof? Pop them in and turn them up. You don't even know they're there. For running or working or doing whatever it is you do with music. Never go quiet again. Note: Use code RWM to take $10 off your order. US & Canada Residents only.
PRICE $179.99

LITTLE TREATS OR STOCKING STUFFERS



NUUN REST - Any product that "aids my relaxation responses" is a no brainer for me. NUUN Rest's blend of magnesium, potassium and tart-cherry are all known to help you relax while also releasing tension from overworked muscles. Please and thank you. I like to heat mine up and drink it before bed. Each tube has 10 tablets. We all need rest during the holiday season, right?

KENYAN RUNNING BANDS - Who doesn't want to wear a bit of motivation while they are working to reach their goal? These beautiful Kenyan Running Bands are handmade by the Maasai people who are based in a workshop in Narok. Artisan Design, founded by Rob Paddock, is the only UK company that stocks these bracelets which are fairly traded direct from Iten. 10% of all sales are given to local young runners as they work to achieve greatness in sport plus you are helping support the local Maasai communities.

HALOLIFE MASKS - Every stocking should have a mask in it this year. Might as well make it a high quality one. The HALOmasks are durable and adjustable. They are available in three sizes and come with replaceable filters. They are also really cool. Well, as far as masks go.

PICKY DRIZZLE - Think taste explosion in your mouth. I mean, that should be enough. Made with cinnamon, vanilla and superfood maca, it's the perfect addition to your oatmeal or a dipping sauce for your fruit....or your finger. I actually put a dollop into my coffee. Mind blown.


***** 2020 WINTER GIVEAWAY*****


4 lbs of
Landgrove Coffee
2 pairs of Wyeth Designs Earrings
2 NUUN water bottles
4 Tubes of NUUN
1 jar of Picky Drizzle
1 Bag of Picky PB&J Granola
1 Variety Pack of Picky Bars
1 pair of Oiselle Power Puff mittens
1 pair Oiselle Power On tights
1 Oiselle Trucker Hat
2 Artisan Designs Kenyan Running Bands
2 HaloLife Masks
2 six packs of Athletic Brewing Co.
2 issues of Like the Wind Magazine
1 pair of Jaybird Vistas

Let's get right to to it, shall we? It's been a hell of a year and I just want to give some cool stuff away. No games or questions for this one. Just add your name in the comments below along with the name of a friend that you'd like to share all these goodies with. You can also jump over to RWM on Instagram and enter again there. Winner will be chosen randomly on Friday, December 11th. Huge thanks to all of the companies that contributed to this giveaway. Good luck. *US Residents only

Listen to this:
Solid Gold by Sheppard

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

GUEST POST:FINDING YOURSELF

Finding Yourself, Nate Wright Style
by Uma Sanker*

"Running is a sport in which you can either choose to find yourself or lose yourself." 

Reading the Big Nate books growing up, one thing that I always admired about the protagonist of the books, Nate Wright, was that he never gave up on his ambitions. Whether he’s being thrown in detention for the millionth time in a row, or his friends are telling him that it really won’t work out with Jenny, he keeps working towards his goals. Even if they’re quite questionable goals sometimes. 

When I first started to run competitively, I was definitely more of a Chad - the insecure, chubby boy who’s one of Nate’s various friends and does things cause he enjoys doing them, not because he’s good at them. In sixth grade, when I walked to room 274 to scribble my name on the cross country sign-up sheet, I was someone you’d expect to have their head buried in a book. I was someone who you’d expect to be on the math team. Someone who you’d never expect to see busting out a six minute mile. Nate would have probably called me a nerd who needed to, “get a life,” much like he frequently said to Francis. I didn’t really have anything that I wanted to work towards at the time; nothing to ground myself. I hadn’t found who I really was yet.

Running is a sport in which you can either choose to find yourself or lose yourself. You can choose to work your hardest and be the best version of yourself, or mindlessly drag yourself through miles on end. One causes you to find yourself, and one causes you to lose yourself. The work you put in, the training that you dedicate yourself to, all define who you are as a runner. Both paths will get you to the same place, but in different ways.

Nate embodies the confidence that I tried to when I placed my name on the sign-up sheet. He doesn’t care what other people think about him. He shamelessly goes after what he wants, and doesn’t give a crap about what other people may think. He doesn’t strangle himself by conforming to the stereotypes that the world has provided him with, and in doing so, he’s found himself. 

In the process of finding yourself, it’s quite easy to lose yourself. I remember in my freshman year of cross country, that my summer training - although I did 200 miles, all of them were half-hearted. It was apparent that I cared, but I didn’t have the motivation to improve. The moment you begin to feel like you can’t improve anymore is always a point at which you lose yourself. 

The way to combat losing yourself is hard. You may think that the obvious answer is, you need to find yourself, but it’s not that simple. It’s a battle that occurs within the mind; it may not be visible on the outside, but can be an ongoing struggle. It sounds so easy to not be sucked into the trap of succumbing to your ego, but it’s ultimately easier said than done. I had to shatter my ego; wake up and realize that the world was not waiting for me, to continue to find myself. Although Nate has a huge ego, he doesn’t succumb to it. He knows, although he verbally never says, that he can improve. He knows that he can keep working on himself. Yet, he stays true to himself and doesn't change for anyone but him. Maintaining that balance, is key.

I like to think of running as a beacon within a storm; the competitiveness. Throughout my middle school years, cross country and track fed my inner competitive side I never knew I had. I started to grow an idea of what I was looking for. High school further showed me I had long ways to go, but that I was stronger than I realized. 

The pain is just as much as critical a part of the refuge as the serotonin. Workouts are the stepping stones to success, races are the mile markers. Pain is a part of all of it, but it is a constant that doesn’t change. The pain shows that you’re improving. The improvement is the motivating factor to find yourself; the constant desire to improve and to be the best version of yourself. Remodeling yourself from having a Chad mindset, to having a Nate mindset. Trying not to lose yourself amid the process. Quoting what Nate says when he begins to do something, practically anything: “What could possibly go wrong?”

Listen to this:


*Huge thanks to Uma for letting me share this post with the RWM readers.  It is such a pleasure to work with you and watch you grow both as a runner and a young woman.  Stay after it.