BUT MAYBE: A 5K STORY

"Age is weird...I sometimes wonder what I would say if I woke up with amnesia and had to go for a run and guess my age.  I don't think I'd say 32.  But, I'm learning to ask..why?  I feel strong and fast.  And if there's one thing I know as an athlete, it's to trust my body, stop the mechanical calculations and get TF out of my own way."
~ Kate Grace, @fastkate

My last 5k was back in December of 2019.  It was a small, local race that I did with my daughter.  If I'm being honest, the course was likely a little short and while I ran a decent time, it didn't truly feel legit.  So, if I take that one out of the equation, my "actual" last 5K, which also happened to be my fastest to date in my post-collegiate run life, was the Winter Classic back in December of 2017.  I finished in 18:59, just barely hitting the sub-19 goal I'd been aiming at for many years.  I remember the shock I felt when I received the text with my time, one that I'd thought was likely out of reach for me in my 40s.  I also remember the mocha I got at Flour Cafe with my girlfriends after the race.  Oh my Lordy, that was a good one.  But, I digress.  Since that race, my focus as far as training goes has been the marathon.  I've finished eight of them between now and then.  When Covid hit and there were no longer any races to sign up for I shifted my focus to ultras and managed to get four of those in, two 50ks and two 50 milers, between May and December.  Basically, throughout that year, anything shorter than 26.2 miles was not on the front burner of my brain.  Then when 2021 began, I found myself a little burnt out from the nonstop high mileage and decided I would shift my focus back to the "shorter" stuff; primarily halves and fulls.  I competed in my first in-person race, the Shamrock Half, in March of 2021 and I had a freaking blast.  Between lining up with other people again and then racing with a purpose as opposed to just doing it virtually and "for fun", it far exceeded expectations and I could not wait to do it again.  I ran the Cheap Marathon in April and then the New Boston half in May and like the Shamrock, I loved every second of both of them.  And now, well, I guess you could say I'm riding high on the race train and I don't really want to get off.  I'm also really enjoying running in a way that I haven't in quite some time and I'm feeling stronger than I have in years so I'd like to see what I can do with it.  My next marathon will be Boston in October and I don't really have anything else lined up in the near future.  Enter the 5K.  It's not my favorite distance.  It's wicked short and it hurts.  A lot.  And I never really know how to run it because in training for longer races, when I run 3.1 miles I often find myself holding back when I should be going or pushing too hard at the start and dying.  At the same time, I've had a little voice in the back of my head wondering what I could do in the 5K at this stage in the game for a while now and I've been itching to give it a shot despite my fear of the distance.  So, at the end of May I reached out to my coach and asked if we could throw a 5K into our schedule, a kick off to Boston training perhaps and something "fun" and different.  His response?  Yep, pick a real one if you can find it or we'll go virtual if needed but let's let it rip and see what you can do in a short effort.  Game on.  

This is me trying to convince McKenna that he can easily handle a sub-19 5k. 

This is him letting me know that he is not so sure he actually wants to try.

If you've been reading this blog for a while you know that I have a dear friend named Steve McKenna who coaches with me over in Lexington.  He also happens to be a very good runner and is often kind enough and, okay fine, more often bribed, to pace me in workouts and races in exchange for drinks at Peet's Coffee.  As far as pacing goes, he's about as steady as it comes and when I settle in behind him I'm able to zone out and just focus on his steps instead of stressing about my time.  Yes, I'm very lucky.  Naturally, I asked him to pace me for this 5K effort and because he is such a rock star he agreed to help me out despite the fact that he has done little work at my goal pace of 6 min/mile recently.  I'll give you the best I've got he told me, which is all I could ask of him and more than enough as any help in this situation would be better than none.

This is me worried about the humidity.

I tried to find an in person 5K in my area around the time that I wanted to get this done but I didn't have any luck so I decided to just go for it on my own.  We landed on Saturday, June 12th first thing in the morning over at the Lexington track.  Yes, the track.  Gulp.  On game day it was cloudy which was good but also a little humid which had me a little nervous.  There was no going back, though.  McKenna was ready to go and I honestly didn't have a lot of other weekend days to make it happen because of coaching and family commitments, so it was now or never.  I got to the track around 7:45am and started warming up on my own as I like to get more miles in pre-race than McKenna does.  

This is me trying to relax.  

Okay, so at this point I was really nervous.  Clearly it didn't matter that this was a solo time trial.  I hadn't pushed this hard in a long time and I honestly didn't know what to expect.  The unknown is a dark, scary place.  Lucky for me McKenna was cool as a cucumber and totally convinced that we were going to be able to pull this off.  Or, at least that was what he told me at the time.  Later he'd tell me that he, too, was a little nervous about his pacing duties but he showed none of this as we got ready to go.  We figured out where the 5k started on the track, did a few strides and before I could change my mind, we were off.  Again, my goal was to run just under 19 minutes which is right around 6 min pace per mile.  As expected, he settled right into this goal pace and I just tucked in behind him and tried not to focus on the fact that I was going to have to hold said pace for 12+ laps.  The beauty of doing this with McKenna was that I didn't have to look at my watch.  I'd made a conscious decision that I would not check it and would let him do the work.  In some ways this made me anxious as I like to know my pace during races and be in control of it.  In others, it was a relief as I could take the guess work out and just ride the pain train.  Which is what I did.  Lap after lap I just focused on my music or McKenna's feet or the other people on the track, basically anything I could to distract myself.  At 2.1 miles, McKenna hopped out of lane one and sent me off solo.  He wasn't sure he could hold pace for the final mile and didn't want to take any risks.  My immediate reaction was, NOOOOOO!!!!  But I heard him tell me to just stay focused and keep going so I did my best to dig in and hold on for those final 4 laps.  With one lap to go, McKenna jumped back in and pulled me through to the finish.  Final time - 18:27.  EFF YES.  Pardon my French but I was totally floored.  That is 6 seconds off my college PR.  And I am 46 years old.  Hot damn.  I did it.  

This is me freaking out.

I didn't write this post up to brag about myself.  And I'm sorry if that's how it sounds.  But, the truth is this.  As we get older, we start to doubt our ability as athletes.  I grind and grind and grind.  Day after day, race after race.  And I rarely see much improvement, if any.  Naturally, I often wonder if my ability to get faster, stronger, better in any way, is behind me.  And yet, there is a little voice inside of me that constantly whispers, BUT MAYBE.  Sometimes I think I want to be done pushing at this level.  The work is hard.  It takes so much freaking time.  And life is busy.  But then something like this happens.  A later in life breakthrough, if you will.  A small and incredibly satisfying taste.  And that is all I need to convince myself that there is still more fuel to my fire and that it's worth continuing to do the work for these very moments, even if they are few and far between.  Perhaps it will never happen again.  And that's okay.  But it doesn't mean I'm done trying.  Far from it.  Come at me, age.  My dukes are up.

Listen to this:

Ring Master - Molly Millington

Molly Millington · Ring Master

BLOOD, SWEAT & TEARS

"The strength of the team is each individual member.  

The strength of each member is the team."

~ Phil Jackson

It's 5:30am and, as usual, I'm enjoying my first cup.  I'm nothing if not predictable.  Outside it's dark and grey and the rain is steady.  It's a perfect day to curl up with a book or do a movie marathon from bed.  Ha.  Or not.  A little before 7:00 I head out to pick up McKenna and the two of us make our way over to Lexington High School.  He doesn't drink coffee.  I know.  But we do make a stop at Dunkin' for his traditional pre-meet donut.  We pull into the school lot and see our athletes slowly trickling out of their cars, trying to stay awake or just to wake up in the first place as they walk over to load the bus.  We have about forty five kids; runners, jumpers, hurdlers and throwers who will be lining up together for the MSTCA Division One Relays which starts with the boys events at 9:00am.  This is our first big meet of the season.  A season that has been different and more challenging than any other outdoor track season we've ever had.  We are nervous, excited and everything in between.  All of us.  And it's going to rain all, damn, day.  Obviously.

The bus is quiet, many of the athletes dozing off on our way over to Peabody.  The calm before the storm, if you will.  Pun intended.  We get to Peabody High School and set up our tent over by the track.  Thankfully it's big enough for all of us as, unless we're coaching or competing, we'll be parked there for the foreseeable future.  James, the boys coach, and I go over to the registration tent and join the rest of the coaches for a pre-meet information session.  Coach Mike Miller of Weymouth goes over all the details and understandably reminds us that, between Covid and the weather, among other things, this event was a bear to coordinate and to please take a minute to acknowledge and thank those who are both on and behind the scenes making it happen.  Noted.  Ashleigh, our hurdles coach, texts the Lex coaching staff to let us know that she is going on a coffee run.  Sweet Lord above, sign me up.  It's now 8:30.  I am wearing every layer of clothing that I brought.  I'm soaked.  The tent is wet on on the inside and out.  The boys are getting ready to race.  The girls are curled up in blankets trying to stay warm and maybe get a little more sleep as their events don't start until 1:00pm.  It's a labor of love, this sport.  We love it.  But, right now we hate it a little bit, too.  Finally, around 12:00, the girls get moving and work to get in the race mindset.  My 4 x 1600m team, Lauren, Uma, Clara and Mirra, will be the first Lexington team on the line.  After quite possibly the longest morning ever, they are fired up and ready to rock.  Honestly, I don't how they do it, but they do.  By the time they are warmed up, warm being a relative term here, and over by the start, all four of them have their game faces on.  The wind has picked up and the rain is coming down even harder.  Doesn't matter.  It's time.  Let's freaking go.  The gun goes off and Lauren takes a spot with the lead pack.  She is smooth and controlled.  Almost gliding.  And, the best part?  She is smiling.  No joke.  She's wearing an ear to ear grin as she tics off each lap.  And it never fades.  She runs a blazing fast leg and passes her baton off to Uma, still smiling as she steps off the track.  Uma goes out crazy fast and continues to grind it out, running with everything she's got and then some.  Up next, Clara, who starts out in second and within three laps of her leg takes the lead, crushing her last lap.  She finishes handily in first with Mirra the last to finish things off.  And that she does.  She literally flies off the line and never stops.  She's by herself.  Doesn't matter.  She's running like there is a fire behind her.  Nothing is stopping this kid.  She's working harder than I have ever seen her work.  It is truly incredible to watch.  And then, it's over, and the girls have won.  No one expected it.  No one knew what to expect, to be honest.  So the surprise of the win is that much sweeter because of this.  Pure joy.  And things are just getting started.

The LHS ladies work their way through multiple events including the shuttle hurdles (6th place), the Sprint Medley (9th place), High Jump (2nd place), Long Jump (5th place), Shot Put (6th place), Discus (2nd place), and Javelin (3rd place).  The field events squad is bringing it and then some.  I'm not able to see them do their thing as they are off to the side of the track but they are crushing it handily and scoring points steadily for the Lex team.  The weather is equally bad if not worse as the day goes on.  At one point, the tents over at the timing system are ripped out of the ground by the wind and flipped over.  It's total madness.  And yet, we're still out here doing the thing.  Finally, we're are closing in on the last event of the day.  The girls 4 x 400m.  I've had four, maybe five coffees.  I've borrowed additional layers of clothing from my athletes.  I'm shaking with the chills and frozen to the core.  We all are.  Mind you, it's around 4:00pm and the girls in the 4 x 4, Mari, Catherine, Aylin and Aleia, have been here since 8:00am.  The fact that they are able to get up and motivated to race after the day they've had is mind blowing.  Not surprising, given this group of incredible women, but still.  Mind blowing.  At the same time, this is it.  They didn't sit here all day to half-ass anything.  They're full speed ahead.  I can see it in their faces as they stand by the start.  They're ready to make things happen.  I have the chills before they even step on the line.  Literally and figuratively.  The gun goes off and Mari shoots out like a cannon.  I'm standing at the 200 on the track and I see her flying down the straightaway.  Her look of determination is fierce.  There is absolutely zero doubt in my mind.  She's winning this leg.  She passes off to Catherine.  Same thing.  Grit, determination; nothing is getting in this girl's way.  Next up Aylin.  She finds a new gear today, running like I've never seen her run.  There is no fear.  All fight.  And finally, Aleia.  Beast mode.  She's comfortably in the lead at this point.   Doesn't matter.  She's running like someone is right on her shoulder.  And she will not be beat.  She floats down the final stretch straight into the arms of her teammates.  To say they killed it is the understatement of the year.  In the cold, wind and rain, or perhaps despite it, they lit up the track.  

The heart of this Lexington girls track and field team, a group of almost 60 amazing women, is huge and beats loud.  Louder than in years past.  I've been coaching at Lex for 10 years.  I'm seeing something different here.  A joy and passion that's bigger than ever before.  Maybe it's because we were forced to shut down our spring season last year due to Covid.  Maybe it's because this school year has been harder than ever before.  Maybe it's simply because these ladies love what they do and love doing it for and with each other.  Most likely it's all of this.  Whatever it is, I am proud and honored to be a part of it as their coach.  Everything they feel, I feel it to.  Everything they want, I want it more.  When they step on the line to run, jump or throw, I step on the line with them.  They're all in.  I'm all in.  We're all in together.  Day in and day out.  Blood, sweat and tears.  LEX GO.

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Listen to this:

Electric by Katy Perry

KatyPerry · Electric