"Move and shake, do whatever it takes
you've gotta be good, good, good to yourself"
~ 'Good 2 Yourself' by Life in Sweatpants
Okay, so after I got home and let the dust settle from the Shamrock half I quickly realized that my goal race, the Greenstride Cheap Marathon, was actually only two weeks away, not three which is what I'd been thinking all along. Well shit, I thought, I don't have as much time as planned, which is both good and bad. Good because I don't have to stress for three more weeks, bad because it's one less week to train and taper. And, of course, there was absolutely nothing I could do about it so I just focused on what I could control which was getting the most out of those final two weeks. One long run and a couple quality workouts later and it was basically go time. Which brings us to this past Saturday. Marathon #26. Here we go. It was a pretty standard pre-race day consisting of a morning track practice over in Lexington, lunch with Jeff on the porch, a lot of stretching and rolling, a fair amount of reading, plenty of eating and drinking and not much else. I laid out my gear around 5:00pm and put on a movie in an attempt to settle my nerves which were slowly building.
Grace had a friend spending the night so I made them dinner and said goodnight at 8:15. I can only imagine what her friend thought about the fact that I was going to bed that early. I did a little more reading and then dozed off easily. I was up and, despite trying, unable to fall back asleep at 4:00am. Guess I was a little more nervous than I'd realized. My dogs, who usually keep me company during the early hours of a race day, were up in NH with Jeff so my morning love and attention was channeled toward my coffee maker instead.
This was the most time I've ever had before a race in the morning and I took full advantage of it. I sat and enjoyed my coffee, did some stretching, ate breakfast sitting down (instead of in my car on the way), checked email. I mean, I had two full hours before I needed to leave. By 5:30 I was starting to get ants in my pants. Too much time can start to work against you. Fortunately, my dear friend Anoush had offered to swing by and drive me to the race. Let it be known that other than my husband, no one has ever done this for me. And for good reason. Driving a friend to a marathon and waiting around as they run for multiple hours is not what most people consider a good time. But, first, Anoush is a runner so she gets it. Second, she's one of my running partners and has trained with me through this marathon cycle so she's invested. And third, and most importantly, she just a really good person. She told me she was in it for the whole day and that she was ready and willing to help with whatever I needed (parking the car, taking my clothes, handing me fluids) so I could focus on myself and eliminate all the guess work. Rock star, wingman, run angel, call it what you want; they all apply. We left Winchester at 6:00am and got to Derry, NH easily about thirty minutes later. Gotta love the races close to home. Anoush grabbed a coffee and then we made our way over the race tent to grab my bib. The weather was pretty perfect; light breeze, 50s and overcast. At the time I was chilly but I knew I'd warm up quickly once I got going because the humidity was high so I was okay with the cold. There wasn't much time for me to putz around as I needed to be at the start at 7:15 so I dropped my layers off at the car, pinned on my number, Anoush took a few pics of me trying to look super excited despite how nervous I was and then walked back over to the start.
We met up with our friend Steve who had come to watch both me and his friend Courtney, who he'd gone to college with, and was also running the full. Courtney and I have gotten to know each other these past few months and I was thrilled have a buddy doing the race with me. She would be ahead of me because she's a fastie, but the course was looped so I would get to see her a few times mid-race which I knew would be a nice boost. There was no fanfare to this start. We lined up at our individual cones and the race director sent us on our way starting at 7:30 in ten second increments. Charlie here looks ready to rock. Me? I'm smiling at my friends like a dummy. So much for getting in the zone.
THE RACE:
Miles 1-6
Ready or not. Go! the guy in the yellow jacket shouted at me. I turned on my music and accidentally skipped the first song. No biggie. I pushed my Jaybird earbud three times quickly to go back. No dice. Skipped another song. Hmmm. I tried again. Skipped again. I created my playlist with just enough songs to cover my goal time with a little cushion, but not much. So, now I was worried I'd run out of music toward the end of the race which could, no would be a major disaster. I tried not to panic and decided it was worth taking my phone out of the Koala Clip from my back and starting the playlist over from the beginning. I did all of this while running which was super awkward and made for a shitty start as my heart was racing from stress but it had to be done. I got back on the right track, no pun intended, put the phone back in it's pouch, replaced it back in my sports bra and took a deep breath in attempt to reset myself. In and out, Rebecca. Let's try this again. My goal pace was between 6:45 and 6:50 so I worked to find it while also trying to relax a bit to get my heart rate back down. The first few miles went by smoothly after that. I was running comfortably in the the 6:45 range, give or take a few seconds and felt strong and rhythmic. I just kept saying to myself....calm down, the race hasn't started yet. Settle in. We're just warming up. I saw Courtney coming toward me during my 5th mile so I knew I was almost at the turnaround point which was at mile 6. I pointed at her and gave her the thumbs up. She was looking rock solid and I knew she was going to have a good day.
Miles 6-12
For these miles, I teamed up with a gentleman named Roy (Boston Buddies singlet) who let me know he was shooting for 2:55-3:00. He was running super smooth and steady and right at my goal pace so I worked with him closely for this section. We hit each mile right on pace until we got to 13 which was uphill. I made a mental note that I would be doing this hill again at mile 26 which I was not thrilled about. The marathoners were being directed off to the right as the half marathoners, who had just started, were coming at us from the other direction. But, Anoush was standing at the turn with a water bottle and I felt like I needed it. So I debated for about a second and then decided it was worth going the wrong way for some fluids.
Fortunately, our handoff was a success. That said, all the runners I was with thought I was going the wrong way and yelled for me to go right instead of straight, including the course worker. The whole scene was made even more chaotic due to the fact that Roy was, in fact, going straight by mistake and needed to be redirected. We got it figured out and I did appreciate the fact that the runners I was with were looking out for me. Though, I felt a little bad as I'd stirred things up a bit and hadn't meant to.
Miles 12-19
As we turned the corner into the halfway point I saw Anoush and Steve. I considered getting water again because the stops along the course were few and far between and it was getting hot. But I opted out and kept going if only to maintain my flow. Roy was no longer with our crew at this point. I'd seen him put his water bottle down and assumed he'd jump back in but after a few minutes I no longer had him in sight so I buckled down on my own. I was feeling strong as I knocked off these miles. I knew I'd be getting to the turnaround point again right around mile 18 which gave me something to focus on. I also knew that I'd see Courtney again which I was really psyched about, if only for the mental boost. As she rolled toward me, I put my hand out for a much needed high five. We nailed it. That was awesome. I took the turn myself and made my way to the finish. Here's where the race begins, I told myself. Now it's time to dig in and hold on.
Miles 20-26
I checked my pace at mile 20. 7:01. Uh oh. I said it out loud. I had a little buffer in the bank because my first 10 miles had been a little fast but I knew I could not keep running 7 minute miles and finish under 3 hours, which is what I was aiming for. I willed myself to pick it up. Despite this, miles 21-24 were still right at 7. WTF???!!! I'm trying so hard. Why am I not going faster. It's funny what we say to ourselves mid-race when we're hurting and totally unable to control the situation, isn't it? I managed to get back on pace for mile 25 but it was too late. Mile 26 was uphill and while I gave everything I had, my legs were like....mmmm, no, we're kind of done now, no sprinting uphill for us. Damn them.
The photo above was taken at 10:33am. Exactly 3 hours from the time I started. I was at mile 26 and change. I could see the finish line. I knew I wasn't going to come in under 3 hours. I was both relieved and annoyed, happy and sad. And so freaking ready to be done. I had nothing left in the tank. I couldn't pick it up. I just finished and that was that. Three hours and 31 seconds. Yet another 3:00:xx marathon. But, this one was different. First, I'd run sub-3 in 2018. I had that feather in my cap. So, while I hadn't gotten it again I was not as devastated as I'd been in the past when I'd been so close. Second, it was three years later. I am now 46 years old and I almost ran a personal best. F*** YES to that. Third, I haven't done any racing other than last month's half since Covid. Sure, I'm in good shape. But perhaps not my sharpest if only because I haven't been able to line up and challenge myself for so long. I will admit, I didn't say all these things to myself at the time. But Anoush did. And my coach, Lowell, also did. And slowly but surely I came around to believing them. To being proud. And, yes, to be ridiculously excited to start over and try again. Because that, my friends, is how the cookie crumbles. Running being the cookie. And I do love cookies.
Listen to this:
Good to Yourself - Life in Sweatpants
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