Monday, April 1, 2019

SAVING GRACE


A little over a week ago my older daughter got hit with the flu.  Yes, she got the flu shot.  We all did.  So much for that.  For the next five days she battled chills and sweats as she watched tv and slept.  I have to give her credit, she's a really good patient.  Rarely complains despite how miserable she is.  It's impressive.  Saturday I drove out to NH to watch my younger daughter play in a soccer tournament.  My husband had gone for her first game and I'd stayed home with Rosie.  He called me with an update, letting me know that she didn't play great, sort of looked half asleep, actually.  It was the first game of her spring season, but still.  When I got to there for the second game she told me she felt 'off'.  It's so hard to gauge with kids in terms of how bad things really are.  I told her to warm up and see how she felt once the game was about to start.  A few minutes later she shook her head, no, that she wasn't up for it.  So, I didn't force it and we sat and sat on the sidelines instead.  When we got home later than night she told me she still felt weird.  You know where this is heading, right?  The next day, bam, fever.  So, on Sunday I had two kids down for the count and I was praying to whoever is up there that I didn't catch it myself.  My main saving grace during this week of flu-laden misery was, you guessed it, running.  Because it got me out of the house.  Sometimes twice. (note:this is the one and only time I was genuinely happy to have doubles on my schedule).  Because it cleared my head.  Because after multiple hours of being a nurse-mom, I wanted nothing more than to get out and move my entire body.  To shake things off, if you will.  And to be by myself.  It didn't matter how far or how hard, I just needed to go.  I'm almost always in training mode and this past week I was reminded how important running is for my basic daily survival.  Fortunately, the girls are older and I can leave them solo for a while.  They also understand and respect my need to run and never question it when I take off regardless of whether they are healthy or sick.  Granted, for this past week, I always made sure they were set and as comfortable as possible on their end before leaving.  And understandably, I often got calls mid-run requesting things like ginger-ale and popsicles, which I assured them I would go get as soon as I got home.  But, otherwise when I was running I was temporarily free and the reset was exactly what I needed to get back to the house and into sick-kid deal mode.  Between the two of them, they missed five days of school with a weekend in between.  I love my girls but those were some long ass days.  Running got me through it.  Well, if I'm being honest, running and coffee.  There was lots of coffee consumed due to their many restless nights.  Whatever.  I ran a total of 70 miles from the day Rosie got sick until the day Grace was finally done.  I was supposed to do a workout on the Friday of Rosie's second day home.  Didn't happen.  I just ran.  Most days it was cold.  One day it was pouring ran and cold.  One day I had 18 to get done which I broke up into three loops of six and checked in on the girls during each one.  Bottom line, for seven days, nothing else mattered besides taking care of my girls and with running I was able able to take care of myself at the same time.  It's such a simple thing, running.  You just step outside and go.  I've been so goal-driven and PR hungry that I've lost site of this recently.  I was really grateful to have the outlet this past week.  Next time I feel like running is a chore or I'm dreading a workout, I'll try and remind myself how much running does for me.  It was a very small silver lining in an otherwise brutal week.  I'll take it.

Listen to this:
Mockingbird - Wild Belle

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