TRUST THE PROCESS

"You see, you've got to feel it in your bones."

~ Radiohead, 'Bones'

Last Monday I did my usual long run.  This one was a 23 miler which is pretty standard for me during a marathon training cycle.  It took me three hours and sixteen minutes.  And every single mile, every single minute, for lack of a better word, sucked.  I logged it in Strava as the absolute worst long run in months.  My legs felt like two anchors, just total dead weight from the first step to the last.  In fact, my whole body felt heavy and stiff and the feeling never subsided despite my constant wishing, hoping and praying that perhaps I just needed one or two more miles to loosen up.  Nope.  Didn't happen.  Think Tin Man pre-Dorothy.  I'm not exaggerating when I say it was borderline torture.  And yes, I finished it.  Because, I'm, um, driven.. ...gritty....stubborn...dumb.  All of the above?  I think I can speak for a lot of us who follow a specific training plan when I say that unless there is an injury that causes us to stop, most of the time we follow the damn plan.  Or, at least, I do.  But, back to the run.  I might have cried a little when it was over.  No, I did.  I cried.  And then I got coffee.  And then I went about my day hoping it was a one off crappy run and that Tuesday would be better.  You can see where this is going, right?  Tuesday was also crap.  Wednesday I had doubles.  You guessed it.  Crap.  I logged them as Sucky and Less Sucky.  By Thursday I expected nothing different nor did I get it.  Another slog fest.  Friday was notably less sucky which I was overly excited about.  But, still.  At this point I was starting to wonder if something was wrong.  There is no question that I run a lot of miles when I'm marathon training.  Some would say too many.  But, I've been doing it for many years and it just works for me.  And this particular week was next level discomfort and misery.  Or, at least, I thought it was.  On Friday I reached out to my coach and expressed my concern.  Below you'll see our full conversation.  Apologies up front as I made no edits to it.  I'm sharing this because I've talked to two other people who are also mid-training cycle and are having a similar experience.  The truth is, if you are runner of any kind and you're training for something substantial you have likely been through it yourself.  It's really, really hard.  Physically and even more so, mentally.  But, as my coach reminded me, training always ebbs and flows.  It's totally normal to have good stretches and bad ones.  This is just how the body copes with all the work.  And if we do everything right it will get us to where we need to be come race day.  In a nutshell, trust the process.  And, maybe keep a training log so you don't forget when it happens again.  Because it will.

FRIDAY, JULY 23rd

Me: This has been such a crappy week. Legs heavy. Zero flow. Every run so much effort. Pace is totally fine. Feeling is just garbage. Trying to remember if this is normal during these heavy training cycles. I know it ebbs and flows. Maybe I always get like this. But I don't remember it being this rough.

Lowell: This is totally normal and expected.  Between the point in the training cycle and the weather going through a bit of a grind it totally normal.

Me: Ok. So just keep grinding out these crappy runs? They're still worth banking even when they suck?

Lowell: Yes and yes.  But you can slow down and they are still productive.

Me: Remind me when it gets better? Kidding. Sort of.

Lowell: Better or easier?  They are not always the same.  It gets better when the weather improves or we have a cut down week.  It gets easier during the taper.

Me: Better. Yes. Easier I know. I can wait on that. So, just relax and don't assume my body is giving up on me. Got it.

Lowell: If you didn't feel like this at all I would say we are not pushing you hard enough.

Me: Yes, yes. You're right. Honestly, I know all this. But for some reason this dip feels more intense than usual. I don't feel tired. My legs just feel like shit. Heavy and useless. Like they've never run before. Every run is so much work.  And for the month or so leading up to this week every run was amazing. Like I was floating. So this is hard.

Lowell: I found an email from two years ago and this is what you said:

"...they're tired and heavy.  My a.m. run kind of sucked.  

I had so much zip last week.  

This week I feel like I'm running in mud."

Me: Omg. Ok. I'm done. Thank you.

Lowell: You got it!

Today, a mere seven days after my week from hell, I got up and prepped myself for yet another long run.  I'm not gonna lie, I was dreading it.  And it sucks to dread something you usually love to do.  But off I went anyway.  This one was just 14 miles.  It took me a little under two hours.  Every single mile, every single minute was truly awesome.  I felt like I was floating and could have run for days.  Trust the process.  Yes.  Message received.

Listen to this:

Working All The Time by Xenia Rubinos

Xenia Rubinos · Working All The Time