RACE REVIEW:EARTH,ROCK,RUN 13.1

"Never let your fear decide your fate."

~ Awolnation

As you may already know, after my last marathon I decided to take a break from the full and focus on the half.  At this point, on a good day, I can run my goal marathon pace until the cows come home, but when it comes to speed, I need a lot of work.  On top of that, after running no less than two marathons a year since 2012, I was more than happy to take a season off from training for 26.2.  I quickly learned that it's hard to re-program your brain and your body after they've been doing something so steadily for so long.  Between the flu and the holidays, I had a rocky start to my winter training.  I ran a half down in Florida in February and did okay.  Though, nowhere close to where I wanted to be.  So, I got back and buckled down.  I put three more halves on my race calendar; one per month in March, April and May.  The May race, which I'd decided would be the Earth, Rock, Run, was set to be my bigger 'goal' race for the season.  I ran the March and April races pretty well.  But, again, not where I wanted to be and, based on my training, not where I knew I could be.  I felt like I was in a rut.  But, I knew what was going on.  I was lining up saying that I was going to "go for it".  Then, I'd get started and realize how hard and scary 'going for it' felt and decide that running safe was the smarter (translation:easier) choice.  I did it twice, for both the March and April races, running almost the exact same time for both.  And as I got myself physically and mentally geared up for the May race I decided that enough was enough.  I was working too hard to go through the motions on race day.  It was time to step up and make things happen.

This spring, through both Oiselle and 2L Coaching, I have connected with an awesome gal who I'll call SL because she likes to keep herself incognito.  She's a working mom and crazy fast runner with big goals.  The week before my May race she checked in to see how I was feeling.  I told her I was fired up but also nervous because for the past few months I'd been mentally holding myself back and I didn't want it to happen again.  She then went on to tell me she has a few sayings or mantras that she uses on a regular basis and that she often writes them on her arm to remind herself of them mid-race.  They're all worth sharing so here is the breakdown:

1. Your limits may not be where you think they are.  You limit yourself and your effort and interpret discomfort based on where you "think" your limits are.  When, in truth, you have no idea where they really are and how far you can go.

2. Sometimes you have to breakdown to breakthrough.  In other words, if you want to make progress and get faster, you have to be willing to push harder than ever before.  It might work and it might not.  But if you play it safe, you'll never know.

3. Change something.  You've found a lot of ways to run the race you keep running (in my case, a 1:27 half which I've done three times in a row).  You know it works.  So, now you have to change the plan.

The day before the race, I wrote all three of them on my arm.  I also broke the race up into three pieces, miles 4, 8, and 12, and wrote the goal time I wanted to be hitting when I reached those miles.  I did it early in the morning and then went about my day.  Took Rosie to the gym.  Watched Grace play soccer.  Watched my niece's crew race.

Went out to dinner with our whole big group.  All the while taking little glances at my arm for the reminder that the next day I would be racing and it was going to be new and different and it was probably going to hurt and it might not work out. But, it was going to be awesome.  Or, at least, that was what I was telling myself.

When I got home, I laid out some gear.  At my last race, my headphones died around mile 4.  I was not going to let that happen again.  While I made sure to charge my 'go-to' pair, I also threw in an extra pair that I could switch to mid-race if needed.  I know, it's bad.  But, I can't run without tunes.  I just can't.  Then I turned in around nine, hoping to get a decent sleep in, something that has been alluding me lately.  But, I won't take you down that road right now.

I woke up around 6:00am, made coffee and went out for a porch session with Clover.  This was the first time we've been able to do this in months, so we were both pretty happy about it.  The temp was in the 40s but it was humid and drizzling.  Not that I was at all surprised the weather has been like this for the past four weeks.  I gathered everything together and took off around 7:00 as it was an hour drive up to Amesbury and the race started at 9:00.  I arrived without incident and parked in a lot near the start.  I walked down grabbed my bib, said a quick 'hi' to my bud Eli, the race director, caught up with my new friend, Kalliman, who I'd met at my last race, took a quick photo with the great Michael Bernier and then shed some layers back at my car and took off for a warmup.

Master of Ceremonies, Michael Bernier

For the record, doesn't matter if it's raining, snowing, whatever.  Micheal is always barefoot, sporting his shades, and in the best mood ever.  If you're reading this and you are a race director and you need an MC, Michael is your man.  Back to my warmup.  The first song that played while I got going was Bob Marley's, 'Time Will Tell'.  Fitting, no?  I got hot soon after I started because the humidity came on fast and strong.  I wasn't too worried, however, because it was still pretty rainy and there was no sun.  Around 8:45, I headed back to the start and did a few drills as I waited for the Mayor of Amesbury to send us on our way.

THE RACE

On Saturday night I'd texted my coach asking if he thought it was realistic to run this half at a 6:30 pace since I'd been doing a lot of my workouts in that range.  He told me I could probably cruise through 8-10 miles at that pace without issue but, "whether you can hold on depends on how much you are willing to push and suffer."  Basically, you'll need to dig in and get tough if you want it.  I had already decided I was not going to play it safe for this one.  So, I took off and settled right into goal pace with a couple other guys.  Miles 1-3 were a steady climb to get out of the center of town.  This is my third time running this course, so, fortunately, I knew what to expect.  It was risky to go out at or even near goal pace on the hills but the day was all about risk, right?  My first two miles were right on target, mile 3 was a little slower and mile 4 was fast as I flew down the other side.  I needed to be hitting mile 4 at 26 minutes to be on target and I crossed just a few seconds after that.  So far so good.  Miles 5 and 6 were slower as there was another climb.  I knew I had the down coming so I didn't panic and ended up running mile 7 at 6:17 which brought me back on pace.  I was running solo at this point and feeling the effort big time.  I had the angel on one shoulder telling me it was okay to pull back a bit and relax since no one was around me.  But the devil on the other shoulder was telling me to suck it up and stick with the plan and, thankfully, he was louder.  I needed to be hitting mile 8 at 52 minutes if I wanted to stay on track.  I was about 30 seconds off, so the goal was still completely within reach as long as I held it together.  It was around mile 9 that a young guy, who'd I'd later learn was named Ben Mark, pulled up next to me and settled in at my pace.  Okay, this was good.  This is typically right around when my head starts to play mind games with me, urging me to slow down because of how tired I am and having Ben there kept me honest.  We cruised through the next couple miles, taking turns pacing and offering each other water at the stops.  We had one more hill to climb in mile 12 and I fell back as Ben pulled ahead.  This was it.  The battle was on.  I could either let go and give up my goal or I could dig in and try to keep Ben in my sights.  Once I was over the hill I tried to open up my stride and close the gap on the downhill, which I was surprisingly able to do.  After that we had a mile to go.  I needed to be right around 1:18 for goal pace and I was really close, so I just went for it.  The fact that it was mostly down for the finish definitely worked in my favor.  Everything hurt, but my legs were basically moving on their own and I was getting excited because I had pushed through the tough spot and gotten myself to the other side without blowing up.  Finally, I could see the green and white banner and I gave everything I had, crossing the line in 1:25:37.

Ben had finished about 10 seconds before me and was waiting with his arms up, ready for high-fives, which I happily gave him.  He thanked me and told me that it was his fastest half.  I smiled, thanked him back and told him it was mine, too.  Runners are so cool.  We're pretty dorky.  But, we're really cool.  We caught our breath and grabbed water as we chatted with the other runners who had finished or were just coming in.  Then I headed back out for a short cool down and said a quick goodbye and thank you to Eli as I was now freezing and losing feeling in my fingers.  Coffee anyone?  As I walked back to my car a young gal waved and ran over to say 'hi'.  She told me her name was Claire, and that she wanted to thank me because she'd read my blog post about the Cheap marathon, had decided to jump in last minute and had unexpectedly qualified for Boston, something she was planning to go for weeks later at Sugarloaf.  Well, that was awesome.  We talked for a while about her running goals, the fact that she was looking to join a team and that she was hoping to get much faster (no doubt she will) and then hugged and wished each other well.  

w/ Claire

Finally, I was off.  I needed to get back and regroup before my older daughter's State gymnastics meet.  Never a dull moment.  But I was going home with a feeling of satisfaction that I haven't had in quite some time.  Not because I'd run a personal best.  I mean, that was great.  But I was more happy with the fact that I'd finally gotten myself out of the rut I've been in for the past few months.  That I'd been willing to take a risk and to test my limits.  And that I'd gotten the much needed reminder that we are often stronger than we think we are.  Do I want to run a faster time?  Of course.  Am I going to keep training with this goal in mind?  No question.  After Sunday, I know I can do more.  That's it's in there.  And, most importantly, that we can continuously redefine what's possible.  Big thanks to Ben for being my late-race wingman and to my teammate SL for all the incredible support and words of advice.  Next up?  Chicago.  Here we go again.

Listen to this:

Not Givin' Up - James Deacon